Will our wedding be one giant “faux pas”?

I decided to take a break from playing Candy Crush (like I need another reason to procrastinate), to get something off my chest. I did the math again, and there is now 95 days till we say I Do! So I had to get back into wedding planning mode, calls are being made, decisions are being pondered and the invitations are FINALLY ready to go.

This also means I’ve been on pinterest a lot, being a DIY bride, I’m always looking for new ideas to make our big day easier and more cost effective. Over the last few months I’ve been reading various blogs about all kinds of wedding planning tips, most of them have been very helpful. These ladies http://confederacyofspinsters.com/ have a great blog, very insightful and hilarious, I like to read their posts when I’m suffering from what I like to call “wedding brain”.

However, I’ve come across some pretty useless and outrageous information as well… I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, writing a blog is hard work (as I have come to realize very quickly), and I know that I have to take all of these “tips” with a grain of salt. I am planning a low budget, laid back wedding, so my posts will be in this style as well. If you’re planning a huge, budget busting, high class wedding, then move along sista, this blog is not for you. But when I read titles such as “helpful wedding tips” or “10 ways to have the best wedding day”, I am very hopeful, only to be disappointed that I will never get back the 10 minutes of my life I just spent reading that pile of nonsense.

Case in point, one post suggested that you are the WORST hosts/humans in the world if you do not have an open bar. They mention that you normally would not ask guests to bring their own alcoholic beverages when you invite them to your home. Of course, in certain circumstance, this is true, but I am usually not in the habit of inviting 120+ guests to my home all at once. If we were having a very small and intimate wedding I would LOVE to have an open bar for my guests, I would also LOVE to own 12 wiener dogs, but that’s not realistic. However, I am not an inconsiderate person, the wedding is on the beach in August, so I will be providing refreshments for our guests, they will be free and non alcoholic.

Another post explained that seating arrangements are necessary so that your guests will not feel stressed out when it comes time to find their seat. I can see this bit of information might be useful if you know before hand that there are certain people that do not get along at all and should not be seated at the same table. I like to think that our family and friends care about us enough to get along for a few hours, and our venue is large enough that people can spread out a little. We also plan on having tables near the head table reserved for our immediate family. For these reasons I don’t feel that a seating arrangement is necessary, I’m excited for our families and friends to mingle and get to know each other, and I can guarantee that the lucky person sitting next to my uncle Louis for the evening will not be bored and far from stressed out.

I also read that having a gift registry is very important so that guests will be able to chose a gift that you need or will enjoy. My fiance and I have been living together for 5 years now, everything we could possibly want or need, we already have. I understand if the couple is just starting out, but honestly, even couples that don’t live together yet probably have enough things to fill two houses! When some couples move in together they have two sofas, two beds, two tables… New towels and an engraved silver picture frame are nothing to sneeze at, but think about it, what is the one thing can you give someone that will make them happy and and they will enjoy/use? MONEY!!! With Canadian couples dishing out an alarming 26,000$ on average for their wedding day (http://weddings.about.com/b/2009/02/11/wedding-industry-still-strong-in-spite-of-recession-necessary-luxuries.htm), don’t you think they could use a little extra cash?

One thing that comes to mind when I read these tips is “old fashion”. Some couples might feel that a wedding filled with customary traditions is very important to them. Several factors play into these decisions as well, for example, your up bringing/values and who is paying the bill. If your parents or family are paying for the entire wedding they will be influential when it comes to the planning. Is your family traditional or more laid back? Will your grand-mother disown you if you do not get married in a church, or is your mother in law to be making her own tie dye dress for the special occasion?

I understand that some guests travel from far away, and that making your guests feel important and comfortable should be a priority. You also want your family and friends to feel like they are part of the day, and we all know that without all of them, it just wouldn’t be the same. But this can be done in simple and thoughtful ways, without sacrificing your budget or your vision of the perfect day.

the biggest piece of advice I can give is to try and plan things the way YOU want to. This can be easier said than done, even if you have complete authority over all the decision making, it can still be very easy to be influenced by others. Parents, the wedding party, planners, professionals, bloggers (ahem…) are all outside forces that can sway your decision one way or another. We seem to get so wrapped up in making sure that we do not commit any “faux pas”. Just try to forget what others will think and plan a day/ceremony/reception that will make you happy. This entire 24 hour period (yes, only 24 hours) is a celebration of you, your partner and your love for each other. It will be over in a flash, and the day after, you should wake up tired, disheveled and happy! And this blissful state should be caused by all the fun you had and the love you felt, and not because your table runners matched the chair covers perfectly.

Here’s a little zombie love from a few years ago, wonder what kind of wedding they would plan? Something outdoors with a brain buffet?!

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One thought on “Will our wedding be one giant “faux pas”?

  1. Pingback: How we planned a Wedding for under 6500$ | recipesontheriver

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