So I’ve been MIA again. My last post was over 6 weeks ago, which is pretty terrible, good thing I don’t do this for a living. My list of excuses: wedding planning, turning 30, surviving my Bachelorette Party, buying a new fridge and trying to be a functioning adult to the best of my ability.
Official Wedding Countdown is at 26 Days!!! I finally broke down and installed an app on my Iphone to help me countdown the wedding and our Honeymoon in France (48 days). I’m also horrible with math, besides weren’t apps and smartphones put on this earth to make our lives easier, and also maybe to avoid human contact?!
And yes, as stated in the opening paragraph, I turned the big 3-0 at the beginning of the month. It really wasn’t that bad, I don’t know what the fuss is all about… I should add that I can’t even get a book of matches (the legal age here is 19) with out being asked for ID, so that makes the transition a lot easier. We have very good genes in my family! We decided to celebrate my birthday by having a BBQ on the hottest day of the summer, it was a great chance for our families to spend some time together before the wedding and I got presents and an ice cream cake 🙂 This was also the weekend that our fridge decided to die…. So as a present to myself I bought a brand new stainless steel refrigerator for 730$, BAM! Right in the adulthood.
I would also like to share my bachelorette party experience with you, since I went on a rant (https://recipesontheriver.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/its-all-under-control-i-have-a-nerd-wedding-binder/) about them not that long ago. Let me begin by saying that my MOH (maid of honor for you non wedding people) and bridesmaid did an AWESOME job planning the entire day. They kept me completely in the dark (except for the date) which was fun and terrifying all at once. They started off by giving me my modest “bride to be” light up pin, we then headed to spa for my first manicure/pedicure ever (where have these been all my life?), followed by a trip to the frozen yogurt place (gotta watch those calories!) and then we met up with my mom and a group of my favorite ladies at an Italian restaurant. We then headed over to my house where they presented me with a tiara, sash and feather boa that I had wear while eating penis cake sitting next to an inflatable doll named Peter Peckerhead. It was perfect, they planned the low key and relaxing day that I had imagined and threw in just enough penis cake and feathers to make it a day I will always remember. Thank you girls, from the very bottom of my heart!
Now it’s time for my latest nugget of wedding planning wisdom: Surviving the last month
With only 26 days to go, I’m in the final stretch or “crunch time” as some people like to call it. With good reason, I literally felt like my brain was being crunched by a giant wedding planning troll this afternoon. All these thoughts were flying through my mind, things I need to do, things I don’t want to forget, things that need to be organized, things that still need to be decided… I ended up with a full blown migraine, and I’ll admit I was on the verge of crying. I took a hot bath, lots of advil, and then a nap. Things seemed a little better when I woke up, but that troll was still gnawing at the back of my mind (need more advil). People have been asking me more and more lately if I’m excited for the wedding, to which I have been responding “I’m excited for it to be over”, I call this the wedding planning blues.
Historically the last month of wedding planning is always the worst, any bride will tell you this. And you think “pfffff how bad can it be?”… Let me tell you it can get CRAZY! There are lots of little things that need to be done now, that could not have been done earlier. A few days ago we had to apply for our marriage license, where we live this document is mandatory and is only good for 3 months, so you can’t get it right away, but you don’t want to leave it to the last minute (trust me). I also had to go for my gown fitting, again another important task that can only be completed close to the wedding day. You also have to keep track of all the guests that will be attending, and somehow get a hold of the ones you have yet to hear from, all so you can get a final head count and order enough food for the reception. See, these are all very important things that can not be done a head of time. There are lots more, but I don’t want to be here all night.
So here are my tips for surviving the last month:
1} Go ahead, freak out a little. I don’t mean cry hysterically while ripping your hair out (but if you do, that’s ok too), I just mean it’s all right to panic a little. I’ve been trying to be the calmest bride I can be, but there comes a point where even a usually calm person will reach their breaking point. It doesn’t mean you are weak, or unorganized or about to have a nervous breakdown. It just means you’ve had enough for now and you need to take a deep breath and a step back. Things don’t seem so bad when you can look at them form a different perspective.
2} Make a list. I’m a list kind of person, I make lists all the time, it seems to help me a great deal. But, even if you aren’t a list person, this may be the one time you will want to give it a try. I was getting very worried about forgetting something important, when a friend of mine (and new bride) suggested I make a list, and slowly work at it. I decided one night to sit down an write all the things that were flying through my head, in a few days I had already crossed some things off, and I had added a few things as well. This list also helped me set my priorities, I realized that having my dress fitted and getting the marriage license were the two MOST important things on my list. In reality, even if the other things don’t get done it’s not the end of the world, I can still get married (legally) and all this planning won’t be in vain. You can also find timeline lists at http://www.theknot.com/, they are very detailed, they even lists thing to do AFTER the wedding!
3} Try to be normal. I know, I know. What is “normal”? Being normal for me is routine. Try to do things in your everyday life that you would do even if you weren’t in the middle of planning one of the most important days of your live. Aside from going to work everyday, try to keep your nightly routine as well. If you walk the dog every night after you have supper, make time to do this as often as possible. Also try to keep your sleeping schedule the same, don’t stay up late every night trying to get the place cards done while drinking a gallon of coffee to stay awake. I strongly believe the best stress buster is eating well and getting lots of sleep. Tackling your to do list is a lot easier when you’ve had a good nights sleep, and don’t worry, I have an incredibly hard time turning off my brain at night, so I know this piece of advice is easier said than done.
4} Relax! Do something that you find relaxing. I like to sit in a hot bubble bath and read a good book (which I did this afternoon), writing this blog as we speak has helped a lot, and this weekend we are going to Bar Harbor, Maine for a camping trip. Just because you’re planning a wedding doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have a life! A few people commented that I was taking a vacation very close to the wedding day, shouldn’t I stay home for the long weekend and do wedding stuff? HELL NO! In my case, I don’t get any “real” vacation time until September when we leave for our honeymoon, and if you’re like most working stiffs, you only get 2 weeks off every summer (if you’re lucky). So this means I have not had a vacation in 1 year, and I NEED A VACATION! From work, from life, and especially from wedding planning! I can feel it in my brain, little things irritate me and it doesn’t take much to make me angry/upset/worried, so this camping trip is necessary to my sanity. So find out what keeps you sane and do it, before you turn into a wedding planning zombie who eats bridal magazines and rsvp cards. Besides, if you check off enough things from you list, you can take a well deserved weekend off.
5} Delegate when possible. I’ve mentioned this tip before, but its a good one, so I will repeat it. When it’s possible ask for help, your bridal party, family and friends are all there to help you. They want to see you happy, especially on your big day, so ask for help when you need it. Don’t feel like you need to do it all alone, I’m sure even brides who have a planner still need help and DYI brides need it even more. This tip also applies to decision making, I’ve found myself saying this more and more “do whatever you think is easiest or best”. I’m paying professionals for their services and also for peace of mind. For a control freak this might be extremely difficult, but these people know what they are doing, and do it well. I’m excited for the wedding day for lots of reasons, one of them is to see all the ideas, hard work and planning come together to create the best day ever.
So those are my tips, now if I can remember to practice what I preach I’ll live to write another blog, hopefully a Post-Wedding blog!
Here’s a picture from our camping trip to Bar Harbor last summer, so you can see for yourself see why I find this place so relaxing 🙂